Hushed Love
by xtwilightluverx
Summary: Edward and Bella are best friends but Bella loves him more than life. Here's the problem. Edward is head over heels for Tanya. Bella is broken, Edward will never know. In the life where unfair things happen, will Bella be broken, forever?


Hushed Love

**Okay, before you read this and flame the heck out of it- READ THIS AN! This is a pretty cliché story, as you read in the summary. Lol. Don't hate on it, actually please do. It's quite funny.**

**By the way, this story is dedicated to Isabella Jame Swan Cullen. Thanks for being such a supportive reviewer, awesome writer, and a kind friend. Guys, go check her out. Her stories are awesome! **

_I cried my tears,_

_You wiped hers_

_I hold you dear_

_But you can't hear_

_You were all I ever wanted,_

_But all I couldn't have._

_I hope you have a great life,_

_When mine is so bad._

_My heart is tore, so was hers_

_But you fixed up hers_

_Make her happy,_

_When I'm here alone._

_I love you._

_But you'll never know._

What did I do in life to deserve this? I donated to charities, was nice to my parents and everything, but what did I do to make god hate me?

Its like god finds my pain and desolation amusing.

See, I love my best friend Edward. He loves Tanya; I never told him I loved him. He's falling hard for Tanya, and I won't pull him up. He means the world to me, but he puts Tanya in front of me.

I remember last year, Tanya was pretty broken. Her lover James broke them apart, over something stupid. Edward wiped her tears, and now, I'm here alone, crying to myself, asking myself why.

My heart longs for him, my soul dies for him, my eyes cry for him, my arms reaches for him, but come back empty.

I cried into my hands as I remembered how many times he told me he loved Tanya. My heart beaks a little more every time.

Why do I fear to lose Edward, when he's not even mine? But I can dream, right?

Wrong. Big no-no. Never pretend everything is perfect, and your heart is fine, when it's not. Cause once you realize that that's not true, you're going to hurt a whole lot more. When your heart aches, you become delusional. Denial, I guess is a better word. But when you come out of your illusions, your heart will shatter.

But, now I guess I grew up. Life isn't perfect, and some people just don't have happiness, like me. I think everybody deserves happiness, but can't find it. Like me, apparently.

I love Edward; I want him to be happy, even though I might not be a part of his happiness.

But, my heart aches to see his eyes light up every time we mention Tanya. That was devastating. It was like having a million knives stab into my heart.

But the worst part of it all is knowing I could've done something. Edward could've been mine.

I could've told him I loved him when he wasn't so into Tanya. But I didn't so it's all so stupid, and I don't even know anymore.

Edward loves me… in a best friend kind of way. He said he never wanted to see me get hurt, so did he close his eyes when I cried for him?

I wish I were I kid again; skinned knees are so much easier to heal than broken hearts.

Ask me how many times my heart was broken, and I would tell you to look up into the sky and count the stars.

He's got me head over heels in love with him, but he can't even stumble for me. Am I really that ugly? Am I really that mean? Why doesn't Edward love me the way I love him? Oh yeah, I remember, he has his heart full on Tanya.

Day turns to night, night turns to day. And I sit here wondering, day continue to come and stars continue to shine but here I am, with tears in my eyes, when you were never mine.

Let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time, I was falling in love, now I'm falling apart.

There was this boy and girl. Lets call them Ella and Edwin, okay?

Ella loved Edwin ever since they were thirteen, but never told him. Now, twenty, Ella's heart is breaking more and more each day, because Edwin is in love with someone that isn't her. The worst part about it is, Edwin will never know. The End.

Does god really love me? Really, truly love me? The bible says god can do everything, and made everything. And I guess that's true. From angel's wings to a falling star, god made everything… except for an unbreakable heart.

My Uncle Phil, was an ex drug addict. He says "its hard to quit, but harder when it's taken away". That's what I feel, except with Love, not drugs.

Love isn't fair. Life isn't fair.

But hey, the bad things in life only open your eyes to the better things in life, that you never paid attention to, right? No. Before I was broken, it was Edward. After I'm broken, ITS STILL EDWARD! I hate that I love him!

Then he appeared at my dorm. I rubbed my eyes, trying to get my vision back from the tears that clouded it. I smiled weakly.

"Hi" I croaked, slightly hoarse from my bawling.

"Bella, why are you crying?" he asked softly.

"It's nothing…" I said

He looked doubtful but nodded anyways.

He pulled me into a hug but I pulled away. It hurt to look at him.

"Leave" I ordered. My heart is broken enough, and I won't let his innocence in that hurt me more.

He looked confused. "Why?" he asked. I just shook my head and pointed to the door. He shuffled and walked out, hurt flashing through his eyes.

It hurts too much to have him as a friend, when I really want him as more.

I sighed loudly. My life sucks, a lot.

**EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW-**

After a study date with the most wonderful girl ever, I walked over to Bella's dorm and heard quiet sobs, like always. She's my best friend. I never want to see her cry; it reminds me of what Tanya was like last year. Miserable. Broken.

I knocked and waited. She came and smiled at me after wiping her teary eyes.

"Hi" she whispered, voice cracking.

"Bella, why are you crying?" I asked concerned.

"It's nothing…" she said in undertone.

I doubted that, I gave her a look, but nodded in respect of her privacy. Which is very weird, she told me practically everything, you know?

She looked more pained after I hugged her. She told me to leave.

My jaw dropped. Never, ever did she even once told me to leave. It hurt.

"Why?" I asked. She just shook her head slowly and pointed to the door, not meeting my eyes.

I walked out in a haze. Trying to figure out what I did wrong.

I pressed my ear back into the door and heard more sobs and my name. So it was me…

I walked into Tanya's dorm; using the key she gave me and saw her kissing James!

I gasped!

They pulled away. "E'Edward!" she gasped before saying "I'm drunk". She didn't look drunk. When Tanya was drunk, she was all red in the face, with big coin eyes. But hey, maybe that changed.

I just nodded before telling James to screw off.

She came and hugged me.

**Hate it? Love it? Should I continue? It would be an OK one shot, right? Except Bella would suffer. :(**** oh well. You want me to continue, leave a comment. Don't want me to, comment anyways. Kay, Bye!**


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